The Suwanee Squirrel Standoff

After 20 hours, the Suwanee Squirrel Standoff appears to be over. Or at least the first phase of it is. We first heard the thrashing around and squeaking in the wall late last night. Today, after making four holes -- one in the ceiling, three in the walls -- and cutting some pipes under a sink, a squeaking, wet rodent was freed from our master bath drain pipe. Jerome – sweaty and covered with drywall dust from the sawing -- wasn’t in a forgiving mood and wondered if we had any recipes for squirrel. Apparently Rome had forgotten who my family was: My mom’s second husband was an outdoorsy guy and we actually ate squirrel once, so I’m pretty sure an appropriate recipe is in my mom’s archives somewhere. (And suddenly the reasons for the vegetarianism decision become clear, no doubt. My mom’s fondness for stuffed beef heart for a time in the late 1970s didn’t help, either. It was the meal she made when my sister brought her future husband, Joe, home to meet the family. My mom loved it but the rest of the family was pretty sure she was sending Joe a message about how he was to treat my sister. He was thankfully a persistent young man and was ultimately not deterred by the cardiac cow parts with Stove Top.)

The squirrel is lucky. I have a soft spot for his kind and, after some persuasion, Jerome agreed to set the beast free in some local woods. The squirrel apparently wasn’t too happy about that recipe remark, as Jerome says he growled all the way to the woods and then gave him the (very tiny, furry) finger as he ran away into the Chattahoochee River Greenway. The squirrel was carried in a pillowcase, which gave the whole thing a mob kidnapping feel so maybe that didn’t help matters much.

And now for the aftermath of the Suwanee Squirrel Standoff of 2010. The whole event has revealed that the drain vent on the roof doesn’t have a cap, which would have prevented the mishap to begin with. That means a trip to the roof is in Jerome’s near future, as is yet another trip to Home Depot. Let’s hope that’s not followed by any trips to a local medical professional. The repair process has resulted in a broken water line, and repairs to that will involve taking the double vanity off the wall. It will join the large double mirror which was removed earlier today. We’re about $150 in so far with more to come. We’re rather attached to washing, cooking and flushing, so a hotel stay might be necessary if water isn’t flowing tout suite.

The kids have been greatly entertained by all this, although Ethan does deeply regret giving his treasured small acorn to the squirrel. The little guy (the squirrel, not Ethan) apparently looked in need of a snack while we broke for lunch, so Ethan helped him out. Ethan insists that the acorn is somehow distinct from the other 10 billion acorns in our yard and was destined for family heirloom status. He mourns its loss greatly.

We’ve had plans to remodel that bathroom literally since we moved into the house, so the squirrel invasion has kicked that into high gear. The bathroom is damaged enough from this little adventure that the remodel has to happen soon, or we’ll end up paying big bucks to repair a bathroom that we’ll end up trashing soon anyway.

And how was your weekend?