The Katie Chronicles: Party Like it’s 1998 Edition

As I’ve gotten older, I find I care less and less about being cool.  Having kids and general adult life fills my brain with so much to keep up with that there’s no room left to worry about what’s cool.  And I’m OK with that.  In fact, sometimes I revel in it.  Jerome and I have a couple of holiday parties to attend this week, and last night Katie asked me before we left what we would be doing at the party we were going to. I told her we’d be eating a nice dinner and talking.  She looked at me like I’d sprouted snakes for hair and said, “I thought you said it was a party.”  I assured her that it was actually a party but she continued to look at me skeptically.  I asked her what she thought a party was and she said, “Playing games, dancing, having fun!”  I told her that sitting around, talking, and eating is how adults have fun.  She said, “Really?”  Yes, really.  Then she gave me the old “OK, if you say so Mom but whatever” look that parents know so well.  So yes, I’ve fully arrived in the Land of the Uncool and I’m fine with that.  Dancing and games sound exhausting, anyway.    #DontRaiseTheRoof #ThisPartyIsOnTheHook

The Katie Chronicles: Persuasion Edition

Katie and her best friend go to the same after school care but they don't go to the same school. They have an intensely close friendship in only the way that elementary school girls seem to have. So weekend play date requests are common, as are sleepover requests, but we often can't say yes to the sleepover requests. We usually don't allow her to be away when Ethan is here because we don't see him every weekend and we also have the normal amount of commitments at church, Girl Scouts, and so on. As a result, Katie knows she sometimes has a steep hill to climb on the way to yes, so she's grown more sophisticated with her requests lately. Here's how Saturday's request went. "Mommy, you've been away all week and I know you and Daddy haven't had much time to spend together. I thought I'd go to Isabella's for a sleepover so you guys can have some quality time together. How does that sound?" I think it sounds like my 9 year old has a future in marketing, law, politics, hostage negotiation....or anything else that requires her to persuade others to do what she wants.

The Katie Chronicles: A Good Man is Hard to Find Edition

Katie and I were on our way home after I picked her up today and we were having one of our usual conversations in the car. I told her that her daddy had given his permission to accept a sleepover invitation she had received for this weekend. The invitation was up for debate because this Sunday is Jerome's birthday and we didn't want it to interfere with celebrating his day, but he gave the OK.  She expressed her happiness and we moved on to other topics. Then there was a thoughtful silence from the backseat, followed by, "I just love Daddy. He's loving, awesome, and he's an understander." I agreed that he's awesome and then asked her what she meant by "understander." She said, "He listens really well and understands you." I agreed with her. Finding a good listener is hard under any circumstances but also finding one with all the qualities you want in a husband and father is rarer still. Katie has a great dad and I'm glad she's an "appreciator" of his finer qualities.  

The Katie Chronicles: Information Update Edition

I had to take Katie to school this morning and after I got to work, I noticed that I had a backseat passenger. When I asked after work if this was my grandchild, I ended up learning a lot. Katie informed me that she's only going to give birth once because she's "only having s-e-x one time" when she's grown up so my passenger, Fiona, is my oldest granddaughter. I also learned that I also have three other, non-s-e-x produced grandchildren. They currently live with us and are named Rachel, Gracie, and Sophia. All in all, it's been a very informative evening.

The Katie Chronicles, Food Bus Edition

Parenthood is a mixed bag of highs and lows, of "You're my best friend, Mommy" sweetness and "crayons on the wall...AGAIN!" moments.  One of the lessons parenthood has taught me is to recognize the sweet and funny moments and really savor them, to use them as fuel for the times when I have to put myself in time out to keep from losing it. Sunday was one of those days that gave me a chance to savor. 

Katie and I went to Kroger to get groceries during a good but very busy weekend and I hadn't  had any time to really rest or gather myself for the week. It was 3 pm on Sunday and I had a list of things to do that would consume the rest of the day, so I was having one of those pouty moments when you think being a grown up is really overrated. As Katie and I were making our way through the aisles putting things in the basket, I noticed that Katie was talking to the food. For each item, she was saying, "Welcome to Katie's Food Bus. I think you'll like it here. Let's put you over here." When we stopped for me to look at something, she talked to the items still on the shelf. "This isn't the right food bus for you to get on, so you'll just have to stay here until it's your turn." This little bit of sweet silliness didn't take anything off my to-do list but it did make me smile. This one is definitely going in storage for later. 

The Katie Chronicles: Song Lessons Edition

 One of Katie's friends listens to a lot of country music and I've noticed one song in particular seems to have made an impression. Lately, I've been hearing her play "Before He Cheats" and singing along passionately. In case you're not familiar, it goes something like this:
"I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."

Another favorite pop song is called "No." It's about a young woman in a club and says:
"My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go"

After she hears the first one she says, "I think she's over-reacting a little bit," but future bad-boy boyfriends, you've been warned. Carrie Underwood and Meghan Trainor are teaching my girl how to respond to your game and your nonsense.

The Ethan Update: Official Teenager Edition

Ethan turned 13 in February and, despite all I have read about tweens and teens, I haven't noticed any changes, other than the need for daily application of deoderent, which began a couple of years ago.  Despite the delay, I think Ethan officially became a teenager this weekend.  By way of background, let me tell you that Ethan has always been an early riser, frequently getting up at about 5 or 5.30 am.  (Those toddler and pre-school years were bleary-eyed for Rome and me.  Caffeine, have I mentioned how much I love you?).  One time when he was about 5 or 6, he actually slept until 9 am and, in all seriousness, I went into his room about 7.30 and checked that he was still breathing.  Fast forward to this Saturday: Ethan was actually the last one up, rising about 8.30 am.  This is the equivalent of sleeping until noon in Ethanland. Then on Sunday he had to be asked to turn down his music while in his bedroom.  So, yep...here we are.  The teen years have arrived.  I will note that he complied immediately with the request to lower the volume and did it without attitude, so I think we're still in "Teen Years: The Prelude" mode.  Or maybe Ethan will only give us Teen Years Lite (tastes great, less door slamming).  #FingersCrossed

The Katie Chronicles, Me Time Edition

Ethan is 13 so when he is with us, we will occasionally leave him in charge of Katie as we go to the grocery store or run a similar errand. (Who knew child-free grocery shopping was such a wonderful experience?) Ethan is with his mom this weekend, but that didn't stop Katie from asking if we could leave her home alone while we ran to the store for something. I asked her why she wanted to be home alone and she said, "Mommy, I just need some Katie time. You and Daddy have your time at night after I go to bed and sometimes I just need some me time to be alone." I suspect "me time" means eating candy and/or Girl Scout cookies and watching shows we won't let her watch. But come to think of it, this is very close to what my own "me time" looks like.

The Katie Chronicles, Lifesavers, Er, Bedsavers Edition.

Parenthood is pretty amusing, if you pay attention to the things that come out of your mouth on a regular basis.  Earlier today, Katie was on all fours on our bed, repeatedly pushing down so hard on her hands that she was bouncing up and down. 

Jerome:  Katie, what are you doing?

Katie: Giving the bed CPR.

Jerome:  Please stop.  The bed doesn’t need CPR. 

Katie: OK.  I’ll give the pillow CPR. 

Jerome:  You’re doing it wrong.  Here, hold your hands like this.  If you hold your hands like that, you might break their ribs [the ribs of the pillow?].

So, if anyone’s heart stops in third grade at school this week or if any beds stop breathing, Katie’s on the case.