The Katie Chronicles, Bad Boys (and Girls) Edition

One of the subjects at dinner recently  that about any form of punishment so don’t put that on your application to become an ambassador or anything. We emphasized how mind-numbing and painful to the wrist it was. Katie disputed this and said she could do it, no problem. She even had a strategy to keep from being bored. We said “challenge accepted.” So after dinner she got out some paper and started writing. She literally stopped before I finished writing this post. Apparently parents do know something after all. We know just the one thing but I’ll take it.

The Katie Chronicles: The Subliminal Eye Roll Edition

The rest of the fam was gone on a Scout camping trip all weekend and they got home mid-afternoon. When they walked in, I was chopping onion for chili and listening to music as I usually do when I cook or clean or walk or drive or...anyway, Mary J. was on the music shuffle telling me to Work That, and so I showed them how happy I was that they were home by taking her advice. I worked that, by doing a little stove dancing while I put the onions in the chili. Ethan was first in the door and he instantly picked up what I was laying down. We did a little family twerking in the kitchen before he took his campfire-scented stuff and self down to the basement. Katie was next through the door and I got a semi-eye roll. No smile or anything. Ahh, the pre-teen years. She may not have actually rolled her eyes but I felt it in her vibe. No mother-daughter working it ensued. Sad face.  My delicious “welcome home” mom moves gave my husband a big smile, but he didn’t work it with me either. In fairness, he’s not a dancer and Katie said her throat hurt, but still. Jesus said a prophet has no honor in his home country and so it is in my house. I’ll be like Jesus and shake the dust off my yoga pants and live to groove another day. At least Ethan gets me.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AXAK9nVBI3M

The Katie Chronicles, Tin Grin Edition

Yesterday, I took a reluctant Katie to get a consultation with her new orthodontist. It included a cost estimate and all I can say is I’ll really miss those little luxuries like food and shelter for the next 24 to 30 months. Just kidding. It wasn’t that bad. Actually it was better than I thought it would be. During the course of the conversation, I learned a random fact and you know how I love those: Orthodontists have to do a 3 year residency after dental school. Three years? Who knew? (Katie’s ortho is a Tar Heel, apparently). I was also reminded how odd it is that orthodontists use the word “appliance” when talking about the various devices that straighten and correct teeth. You want to put an appliance in my child’s mouth? Like, a Maytag? Nope, Katie has to have this thing called a carriere and it’s a bite correcting appliance that’s like a retainer with rubber bands. She’s not looking forward to it but when she remembered the childhood stories I had told her about The Great Headgear Debacle of 1982, she got more positive. So the bite correction is the first stage and then in about 4 to 6 months it’s brace face time! She was relieved about not having to get molds of her teeth made with that gross, squishy stuff — it’s all 3D imaging now, of course — and excited about getting rainbow rubber bands on the braces, so at least there’s that.

The Katie Chronicles: Git ‘Er Done Edition.

Katie was excited about spending some time at home next week until Rome and I started talking to her about what we had to do when we were home in the summers as younglings. We ended up creating a list of tasks together for her next week and she set some of her own goals. She will definitely have some sleeping-in and fun time but she also has two books to read (one for school that she procrastinated on and one assigned by me) and various Scout merit badge tasks, one of which involves planning, shopping for, and cooking five dinners. (I’m excited about that one!) All this is in addition to a Scout fundraiser, a merit badge class, and her normal cleaning, cat feeding, and cello practice chores. Lessons about using your time wisely and personal growth are in the making and we hope she ends the week with the sense of accomplishment and self-esteem that comes from handling your business like a boss.

The Katie Chronicles, Don’t Call DFCS Edition.

Katie loves to draw and she’s developed the habit of doodling on herself. Today she took it to a whole new level. She had to hang out in my office for a little while and she had some watercolor paint, so instead of the usual flowers and random shapes, she painted wounds on herself. She did a couple of cuts and bruises that looked so real I was afraid someone was going to think I abuse my child. Given Atlanta’s extensive movie industry (it’s the most common place to shoot movies and TV shows now) maybe there’s a career in special effects?

The Katie Chronicles, Focus on the Positive Edition

Parenting a middle school child is giving me a run for my money. Basically, I’ve hunkered down and am just trying to make it through the year. OK, I’m being a little dramatic. The issues this year are, as far as I know, pretty much on par with Katie’s developmental stage, so no drugs or porn addiction or knocking over liquor stores on the way home from school or anything. That’s for 7th grade.

There are, however, frequent sparks of light and even entire sunny days. She’s still a snuggle bug, and she does things occasionally that just make my heart sing. A few days ago, without being told, she *actually found a coaster* before she put down her drink on my new coffee table. Y’ALL. Wow. Apparently the 8,865 times I’ve shouted “use a coaster!” from the kitchen have sunk in. Then yesterday we were watching a news story about that Houston principal who created a dress code for parents. We talked about what challenges she might be experiencing and Katie concluded (without any prompts from me) that she disagreed with the code because “you don’t know the parents’ situation. They might not be able to afford more than what they have on or they might be sick that day.” Be still my heart. She’s getting what we are trying to teach her, at least a little bit. That’ll get me through a bad grade on an open book test any day.