The Ethan Update: The Boys' Club Edition

Ethan was recently telling me he needed some of my family ancestry information because he has an assignment to come to school dressed as an immigrant ancestor. I reminded him his mom is from Australia, making her an immigrant, but he wanted a male ancestor because he's a boy and he wants an ancestor like him. I jokingly asked him how he knew he was a boy and he said: "Well...I like explosions...and farts...and burping." Hopefully we can raise that bar for male status a tad higher in the coming years. 

The Ethan Update: Science Edition

Every night at dinner we ask the kids what their favorite part of the day was. Tonight, Ethan's answer was science class, where he learned that hydrogen has one electron and one proton. Then:
Me: "Ethan, if Katie were an element, what would her properties be?"
Ethan, after pondering for a millisecond: "She'd be essential to making rainbows and unicorns." (Actually, I think he said "rainbow-pooping unicorns," but an "ahem" from his dad altered his answer).
Jerome: "When she came in contact with boys, she'd have the same properties as unobtainium. Also, she'd have a lot of free radicals."
Me: "She may produce a lot of radicals but they wouldn't be free, 'cause nothing about my girl is cheap. So Ethan, what properties would Ethanium would have?"
Ethan: "I don't know but there'd be a lot of it in Pop Tarts."

The Katie Chronicles: Mom Tracking Edition

Katie was looking for a favorite skirt she'd misplaced and wanted to wear. I said, "Katie, look on the dining room table." (Yes, really. Don't ask.) Katie said, "That's why I like mommies. They are smart and they can find things. Even daddies can find things sometimes."

My Grandmother

Picture from my grandmother's college
freshman yearbook in 1926.

My maternal grandmother had an interesting life. She rebelled against her father who told her education was wasted on women and worked her way through a women's college in the 1920s. She went on to get a master's degree later. She was a farm wife during the Depression and also had a career with the Department of Human Services and Bureau of Indian Affairs, helping native children who'd been abused or neglected. She survived more than her share of tragedy, as my grandfather died at 52 and she buried two of her three daughters. The first child to pass was my Aunt Phyllis, born when my grandma was 40 and my mom was in high school. Phyllis got a form of polio when she was 11 months old and died within 24 hours. My grandma wrote poetry and songs and I recently found some of them. This is one she wrote for my Aunt Phyllis.

Bereavement

Clasping my hands, they murmur
Do not grieve.
She's better off.
The world is so unkind
To little girls.
So little do they know
What's on my mind.
Does God rock her when she falls?
And kiss her bumps?
And hear her when she calls
For "dinke" in the night?
And smile a little when she says,
"Turn on de dite
'Cause I not seepy, pease"?
Does he take her then and rock her
'Til her head begins to nod?
For if he does, I'd give my life
One night to change with God.

The Ethan Update: Baseball Jesus Edition

Recently, our family was all in one room and the kids were playing baseball on the Wii. Rome and I were talking to each other but (as you parents know) we always keep half an an ear tuned into the kids, so we can preempt any plans to condition the cats' fur with peanut butter, experiment with gravity by jumping off the roof, repaint the bathroom with Sharpies, etc. So Rome and I were talking about dinner plans and this comment from Ethan floated by: "Jesus wasn't very good at baseball." We stopped talking, gave each other the "Hmmmm..." look, and decided to inquire. Ethan explained that he was assigned a Mii in the game named Jesus and Jesus' batting was not up to standards, so he switched to another Mii. (We suspect the Mii was intended to have the Spanish pronunciation but our Sunday school-attending son read it the Anglo way). Sorry, Jesus. Walking on water, healing people, water into wine...just not enough. More heavenly batting practice for you!

The Katie Chronicles: Gunny Boo Boo Edition

In the South, target shooting is a somewhat common recreational activity and Katie's Alabama-raised grandpa is a gun collector. On a trip to visit him, Ethan spied a BB gun in the house....and thus commenced the begging, despite my admonition that he'd shoot his eye out. (It was a Red Ryder BB gun and Christmas time, so I was contractually obligated to say it). After some tutoring, Ethan took his turn aiming for a box-target and it turns out he's a good shot. Katie took her turn (with Daddy's assistance) and did pretty well, too. After she finished, Katie got very excited and ran to me shouting, "I SHOT A BOO BOO GUN! I SHOT A BOO BOO GUN!!

The Katie Chronicles: Working From Home Edition

I've just been informed that the kids' bathroom is now Katie's office. Given that she then asked me to make a sign for the door indicating as much, I'm guessing I'm now part of her staff, so here goes: Ms. Brown appreciates your call but she is currently unavailable. May I take a message? She told me that she has a phone call and a meeting later but she will get back to you after.