Responding to a Tragedy

When I got up this morning, my heart was in Stillwater and I immediately reached for my phone to get an update. Did the severely injured make it through the night? Was there any additional news that would help me make sense of this tragedy? Was there someone I forgot to check in with who was not OK? 

What I've seen on social media so far is great sadness and bittersweet stories: a little girl who was going to her first OSU homecoming with her aunt and grandma but who "got her first helicopter ride" instead when she was life-flighted out of the carnage; a couple who died who had previously set up a scholarship to OSU after he served for 26 years as an award-winning professor; an OSU student who was pushed out of the way of the car by that professor's wife; the firefighters and National Guard members who were part of the parade and ran to the scene, likely saving lives; a Methodist minister who just happened to be at the hospital when the doctors told the family of the two year old that they were unable to save him. 

I also saw the mugshot of the woman who caused this horrific tragedy. As I scrolled down my newsfeed, I was struck that I had not read any comments that directed anger toward her. As the reality sinks in, it's possible that may change, but I hope not. She did a devastating thing, but let's not respond in kind. 

A wise person once told me that we are all one bad decision away from losing everything. Let's take this moment to feel the truth in that statement. She is facing justice and will likely go to jail for the rest of her life. Let's let the legal system do its job and let us turn to those who need us. Let's pray for and comfort the families, and contribute to the memorial funds, and assist those who were injured when they come home from the hospital. 

The world is watching to see how we handle this, Cowboys and Cowgirls. Let's show them who we are. #LoyalAndTrue #StillwaterStrong

The Katie Chronicles: That's My Job Edition

Katie sometimes plays computer games on kids' websites like PBS. Recently, my computer's browser was doing some really odd, glitchy things and Katie was getting frustrated by it. She looked at me sitting next to her in the couch and said, "This computer is driving me nuts!" Then with a big smile: "That's usually *my* job, to drive people nuts."

"Free" College Isn't So Free

So if you pay attention to politics, you've probably seen plans from several candidates (and one from President Obama), that promise free or much reduced college cost for students.  The goal of these plans --  taking away the financial barriers to completing college -- is admirable and I support it.  The devil, as they say, is in the details.  Some quick thoughts:  Some of these plans are regressive in that they will make no distinction between wealthy families and those who really need the help. Since wealthy students go to college at a higher rate, they will get most of the benefit.  Some of these plans will result in the federal government providing funds to higher education directly.  (Currently, the only real federal financial contribution to college funding is through financial aid, which goes to students not colleges.)  The former is a problem for what I hope are obvious reasons.  The second will, I believe, have two unintended consequences.  It will encourage states to continue their disinvestment in higher education, which is the root of the cost problem to begin with.  They'll continue to cut funding because "the feds will take care of it."  I also believe any kind of direct funding of higher education by the federal government means more top-down, one-size-fits-all federal regulation and that will, sooner or later, end up giving us No Child Left Behind: College Version.  And we know how well that worked out for K - 12.  By all means, let's help students who need the support, but let's be smart about how we do it and let's keep direct federal financing out of higher education.

The Ethan Update: Musical Xenophobia Edition

Yesterday morning,  Ethan asked me what the word "xenophobic" means and I told him. He absorbed the explanation and went on with life. Then a few minutes later he was wandering around the kitchen getting more breakfast and singing this to the tune of Bob Marley's Three Little Birds: "Don't be...xenophobic...'cause every little thing...is gonna be alright....don't be afraid....of other countries...'cause every little thing...is gonna be alright." I think Mr. Marley would like Ethan's update of his song.

The Confederate Flag and Me

I've lived in the South now for 17 years. Being originally from a state that is semi-Southern, there were many things I already understood when I moved here, such as when to use "y'all" vs. "alla y'all" and the glories of the house wine of the South, sweet tea. There are other parts of Southern culture that I've learned about in those 17 years, things you don't really get until you live within a culture, but one thing remains a mystery to me: the attachment of some to the Confederate flag. There are many white Southerners who don’t like the flag and object to it flying in public spaces, but there is still that vocal group who stubbornly insists that it is somehow a symbol of regional pride, or "heritage not hate." I have listened to several perspectives and have yet to understand it. 

The issue of Southern heritage is a personal one.  I am related on my mother’s side to Ben McCullough, a Texas Ranger and brigadier general in the Confederate army, who died after being shot out of his saddle at the Battle of Pea Ridge.  Even with that connection, the power of the Confederate flag evades me, so I’ve looked to my heritage on my father’s side for some kind of analogy. 

My ancestry is largely German and when I was growing up, my dad taught me what it meant to have German roots. I was raised Lutheran and I grew up eating sauerkraut and other German delicacies along with my biscuits and gravy and fried okra. I was taught to be proud of Germanic character traits like hard work and thriftiness. When my dad and I were in Salt Lake City, he took me to see the US Immigration paperwork, which the Mormons have on microform, from when my grandfather (his dad) came to America as a boy. It was a powerful moment that made me proud of the resilience and perseverance of my ancestors.  If I chose to advertise my culture, I could choose the display a German flag…or I could choose to display a red flag with a black swastika, a flag associated with Germany and also with hate and murder and years of prejudice and oppression that still persist today.  

That, for me, is the heart of the debate.  It’s not whether you have the right to be proud of where you’re from.  It’s that choosing to symbolize that pride by displaying a flag that is so closely associated with our own shameful historical episode is such a terribly wrong way to do it.  There are many other symbols that can be used to symbolize a connection with heritage. But just as you will never see a Nazi flag flying in public spaces in Germany, we should also be ashamed to fly our own homegrown symbol of hate, torture, and death.  

The Confederate flag flying at the South Carolina statehouse isn’t their state flag (that one has a pretty palm tree and a crescent moon on it it) and it isn’t even a long-standing tradition.  Like most displays of the Confederate flag in the South, it wasn’t flown until the 1960s, when it was put up as a protest against court-mandated integration. The Confederate flag is a symbol of racism, pure and simple, and I hope those working to take it down are successful.  Put it in a museum, where it belongs.

The Katie Chronicles: Girl Scout Camp Edition

It’s Girl Scout Camp week and Katie regaled us with the following first day update.  Apparently, there was some incredible fishing happening today, including Katie calling five fish to her boat, capturing them in a bag and naming them, only to let them go later in the day, conveniently before any parental eye witnessing could be had. Either that, or a tradition of “the one that got away” type fish tales is alive and well among Katie and her fellow Brownies, as each had her own story.  Girl Scouts all get “camp names” and Katie’s is Princess Sugar Cookie.  Seems about right.  The day’s activities (not including fanciful fishing) included canoeing, swimming, archery, or the Brownie version which uses slingshots instead of bows and arrows, games, and now some rather dramatic singing in the bathtub.  We always discuss our favorite parts of our day at dinner and Katie’s was canoeing (“I got to jump off the boat into the water!”).  When I asked her what one word described her day, she said she had to choose two:  fun and exhausting.  I’m waiting for the exhausted part to kick in, but both make me happy.

The Katie Chronicles: Childcare Wisdom Edition

On the drive home today, I was telling Katie how, when I was exactly her age, I rode the bus home, let myself in the house, and was home by myself until my mom got home an hour or two later. The inevitable question followed: "Can I do that, Mommy?" I told her that times are different and it's illegal in Georgia to do that. She asked me why and I explained that bad things might happen, like she could break something and hurt herself with no parent there to help. She agreed that would be bad. She got thoughtful for a minute and then said, "Mommy, it's really important not to leave a 3-year old by herself. She may eat all the marshmallows." Toddler parents, take note. And lock up the marshmallows, just in case.