The Katie Chronicles, Tin Grin Edition

Yesterday, I took a reluctant Katie to get a consultation with her new orthodontist. It included a cost estimate and all I can say is I’ll really miss those little luxuries like food and shelter for the next 24 to 30 months. Just kidding. It wasn’t that bad. Actually it was better than I thought it would be. During the course of the conversation, I learned a random fact and you know how I love those: Orthodontists have to do a 3 year residency after dental school. Three years? Who knew? (Katie’s ortho is a Tar Heel, apparently). I was also reminded how odd it is that orthodontists use the word “appliance” when talking about the various devices that straighten and correct teeth. You want to put an appliance in my child’s mouth? Like, a Maytag? Nope, Katie has to have this thing called a carriere and it’s a bite correcting appliance that’s like a retainer with rubber bands. She’s not looking forward to it but when she remembered the childhood stories I had told her about The Great Headgear Debacle of 1982, she got more positive. So the bite correction is the first stage and then in about 4 to 6 months it’s brace face time! She was relieved about not having to get molds of her teeth made with that gross, squishy stuff — it’s all 3D imaging now, of course — and excited about getting rainbow rubber bands on the braces, so at least there’s that.

The Katie Chronicles: Git ‘Er Done Edition.

Katie was excited about spending some time at home next week until Rome and I started talking to her about what we had to do when we were home in the summers as younglings. We ended up creating a list of tasks together for her next week and she set some of her own goals. She will definitely have some sleeping-in and fun time but she also has two books to read (one for school that she procrastinated on and one assigned by me) and various Scout merit badge tasks, one of which involves planning, shopping for, and cooking five dinners. (I’m excited about that one!) All this is in addition to a Scout fundraiser, a merit badge class, and her normal cleaning, cat feeding, and cello practice chores. Lessons about using your time wisely and personal growth are in the making and we hope she ends the week with the sense of accomplishment and self-esteem that comes from handling your business like a boss.

The Katie Chronicles, Don’t Call DFCS Edition.

Katie loves to draw and she’s developed the habit of doodling on herself. Today she took it to a whole new level. She had to hang out in my office for a little while and she had some watercolor paint, so instead of the usual flowers and random shapes, she painted wounds on herself. She did a couple of cuts and bruises that looked so real I was afraid someone was going to think I abuse my child. Given Atlanta’s extensive movie industry (it’s the most common place to shoot movies and TV shows now) maybe there’s a career in special effects?

The Katie Chronicles, Focus on the Positive Edition

Parenting a middle school child is giving me a run for my money. Basically, I’ve hunkered down and am just trying to make it through the year. OK, I’m being a little dramatic. The issues this year are, as far as I know, pretty much on par with Katie’s developmental stage, so no drugs or porn addiction or knocking over liquor stores on the way home from school or anything. That’s for 7th grade.

There are, however, frequent sparks of light and even entire sunny days. She’s still a snuggle bug, and she does things occasionally that just make my heart sing. A few days ago, without being told, she *actually found a coaster* before she put down her drink on my new coffee table. Y’ALL. Wow. Apparently the 8,865 times I’ve shouted “use a coaster!” from the kitchen have sunk in. Then yesterday we were watching a news story about that Houston principal who created a dress code for parents. We talked about what challenges she might be experiencing and Katie concluded (without any prompts from me) that she disagreed with the code because “you don’t know the parents’ situation. They might not be able to afford more than what they have on or they might be sick that day.” Be still my heart. She’s getting what we are trying to teach her, at least a little bit. That’ll get me through a bad grade on an open book test any day.

The Katie Chronicles: Home Improvement Edition

Well, the good news is that we decided to tackle some house projects over the break. We — and by “we,” I mean mostly Jerome with assistance from Katie and me — got started this weekend with painting Katie’s room. I knew there’d by massive dust when we moved furniture that had been in place for years and I figured we’d also discover a variety of archeology finds under and behind things. Our dining room has become a staging area for all the things.

What I didn’t expect was how gross that room was. It’s amazing what you see when you get close to white wood trim in a kid’s room, although maybe “amazing” is the wrong word. I’m not sure exactly what she’s been doing in there. Surgery with dull instruments, maybe? Sword fighting? Running a bootleg slaughterhouse? When we moved the bed, we found...oh Lord, I can’t say it. There was a...oh boy...a secret booger collection on the wall that my lovely daughter claimed was from “when she was a baby.” 🤢 I’ll need to find a priest so I can go to confession later and purge my soul. Where did I go wrong, Jesus? Katie is paying penance by scrubbing that section of the wall — she volunteered! — and cleaning the the baseboards. (Those were just dirty, not booger-y).

Once I recovered from my booger-induced nausea, I was able to appreciate the cuteness of overhearing Rome answering Katie’s questions about painting and their general discussion about life. I love Daddy-daughter time, especially when it involves teaching baby girl a life skill. I’ve only had the occasional booger flashback. I’ll be all right.

The Katie Chronicles, Cherry-Flavored Beauty Edition

Katie’s at the age where she wants to start experimenting with how she looks. She hasn’t asked to wear makeup yet but she did ask for permission to color her hair...with Kool-Aid. Apparently this is all the rage with the middle school set. She asked to color just the ends and we initially said no.

A month or two ago, she asked for something else we said no to and she and I had a follow-up talk about how ask for what you want and how to be persuasive. Does it involve asking over and over and over? Whining? Begging and making crazy promises, like never asking for anything ever again? No. We talked about thinking through your request, considering all the pros and cons, including what questions the other person may have, and then thinking through all your counters to the cons and questions. We talked about timing — should you ask after Mom says she’s tired or has had a bad day or is rushing to get out of the house in the morning? — and so on. So when we first said no to the Kool Aid dye job, she countered with her written proposal.

Why i should be able to dye my hair with kool-aid

Why I feel like I should be able to dye my hair with kool-aid is because 1.) it will last longer 2.) it wont rub off on products such as shirts, pillows, and sheets, etc. 3.) it would not cost a lot because you only needed to buy the kool - aid 4) a lot of people have dyed their hair and they say that it all looks good and it does 5.) it would look good 6.) it's safer because there's no harmful chemicals 7.) since it's only sugar and color when I combine it with conditioner and water (which is what they say to do) the sugar would dissolve, so I wouldn't attract bugs etc. 8.) a lot of kids in my class have dyed their hair with kool aid and so has [friend’s name was here] 9.) there are not a lot of steps 10.) there are not a lot of things we would need. Since there are a lot of positives there are always downsides 1.) it takes a while to soak into the hair 2.) it could get a little messy (but everything is). These are some reasons why I think I should be able to dye my hair with kool-aid. Here is a video talking about how to do it: [video link was here]

So, after some discussion with Jerome, she got her way with some conditions. She spent part of yesterday afternoon sitting at the dining room table, working her Kool Aid magic. I feel like we both got something.

The Katie Chronicles: Motivating Mom Edition

While watching college football on Saturday, Katie and I were snuggling on the couch. With her signature sweetness, she put her hand on my cheek and rubbed it back and forth with a thoughtful look. Then she informed me that she thinks growing a beard and mustache is just a matter of effort. My darling daughter told me that the only reason I don't have a beard is I'm just not trying hard enough and I could do it if I really wanted to. I don't know if I should be humbled by her estimation of my potential, perturbed at the implication that I'm lazy, or just planning another discussion of secondary sex characteristics. #slacker