The Ethan Update: Roughing It Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first sleep-away camp survivor....Ethan! It was Boy Scout camp and he earned his "Firem'n Chit" and his "Totin' Chip." (The difference between a chit and a chip gets explained later, I hope). These accomplishments mean he's demonstrated he can use both according to strict safety standards. The former means he can carry matches and build fires and the latter means he can now go beyond whittling in one place to carrying a knife or hatchet around camp if he needs it. About an hour after he returned home, you can probably guess what he asked. "Daddy, is there anything I can chop down with a hatchet?" So if any of our trees or bushes disappear in the near future, I should be able to solve the crime. Also, if you need any chopping or burning done, I have your boy.

The Katie Chronicles: Religious Education Edition

Katie is involved in an optional summer Girl Scout class series called God and Me that involves a few meetings over the summer with her group where they have Bible-related lessons and do projects. The end result will be a special patch and recognition of her studies. One of her recent homework assignments was to create a 24-card memory matching game with pictures of 12 pairs of items that God made. She asked me to check it because she came up an extra blank card, so I matched up all the pairs. There were pictures of her family, her cats, butterflies, food...all the usual suspects. And then I saw that she had created a set of cards for football. I'm keeping these because if we are ever called to present legal evidence that we are fit parents, I believe demonstrating that your children believe that God created football is admissible in a court of law in the South. 

The Ethan Update: Spirit Animal Edition

I really needed to hear some good news today. When I got home, I was talking with my hub about our respective days. He told me that he and Ethan had been talking on the long drive home and Ethan asked him what his spirit animal would be. Rome said he replied, "I don't know. Maybe a sloth?" (For the record, he's the opposite of a sloth, whatever animal that would be). Ethan then said, "What would T's spirit animal be?" They discussed options but then Ethan said, "Oh, I know! She'd be a peacock!" Rome asked him why a peacock and he said, "Because peacocks are sooo beautiful!" Then he said, "No, wait! She'd be an *albino* peacock, because they're even more beautiful!" After I suppressed the tear in my eye, I said, "Well, he got the albino part right." It's easy to see that I'm surrounded by a boy who is going to make someone an amazing husband someday...and a man who already has.

The Katie Chronicles: Tomboy Edition

It’s been fun as a parent watching all of the identity-development theories I learned about play out in the growth of my kids.  I recently picked up Katie from her day camp and, as usual, we chatted in the car on the way home.  Katie informed me that she – my Frozen-memorizing, nail polish-loving, pinktastic daughter -- and some of her camp friends have formed a tomboy club.  I asked her what a tomboy was and she said it’s a girl who likes boy things. Simple enough.  I asked her what boy things were and she said “Skylanders, Pokemon, Transformers, and stuff like that that boys like.” A few months ago, her brother defined boy stuff as burping, farting, and explosions, so I was grateful that we seem to be progressing.  (At this point I was thinking, “Wait…if girls like something that boys also like, doesn’t that make it a ‘people thing’?” but I didn’t push in that direction.  There’s plenty of time for applying logic to irrational situations later…like when we start discussing politics.)  I learned that the club is led by a team that includes a boy and when I asked her why, she said he was nice and they wanted him in the club, so I’m guessing the admission criteria and terminology are a bit fluid at this point.  But at least they’re inclusive.  She said the club has six rules.  It’s apparently important that you be nice, not use words like dumb, lame, or “the s-word” -- not THAT one, the other one…”stupid” -- and you have to like the aforementioned “boy things,” which also includes boy music like “Justin Beaver” and The Story of My Life.  (I’m sure the macho dudes down at the nearest biker bar would love to hear some the Beebs or One Direction rocking out of their jukebox).  Katie said these fall under “boy music” because…wait for it…they’re sung by boys (duh).  Later, she asked me if I was a tomboy and I said no…I’m a goddess.   And then, less tongue-in-cheek, I told her I don’t categorize things as “boy” things or “girl” things.  I like what I like and that’s it.  There was silence from the back seat, so I might have blown her mind.

The Katie Chronicles: Confession is Good for the Soul Edition

Recently, Katie and Ethan played in our basement and had to clean up the mess. Ethan complained that Katie only did one or two things and he did most of the work. We are so numb to squabbles over insignificant (to us) differences between the kids -- an ice cream dip that is one or two microns smaller than a sibling's, an extra page of a bed time story that one got and the other didn't -- that we didn't pay much attention. And then about an hour later, Katie hands me this note. In case you can't read first grade penmanship, allow me to translate: "Dear Mommy, I love you so much but Ethan did do all the work. All I did was sweep and pick up my shoes and my stuffed animal. Love, Katie. PS, I cannot find my books." Superego achieved? Well, we're working on it.

The Katie Chronicles: Southern Charm and Zombies

Recently, Katie and I were watching TV and I remarked how pretty the lady in the Chico's commercial was. Katie said, "Yes, she's pretty, Mommy, but not prettier than you. She's only the second prettiest lady." Awww, sweet baby. And it's not even close to Christmas or her birthday. Then later, Rome was kissing Katie on her forehead several times. She said, "No eating my brains, Daddy!" She's right. We have a strict "no brain-eating" rule in our house. You can't be too careful. You never know when someone will lure you in by comparing you favorably with the Chico's lady and then go zombie on you. 

Keep Your Guns Away From My Child

My home state of Georgia recently passed a law that I believe is dangerous.  One of the provisions allows felons to use the awful "Stand Your Ground" defense if they kill someone...with a firearm that it's illegal for them to have in the first place.  Apparently the nonexistent Second Amendment rights of felons are more important than the safety of anyone who unintentionally "threatens" them.  There are also provisions involving schools that my husband and I specifically protested by writing the following letter to our daughter's principal and copied to the system superintendent.

Dear Principal _____—

We'd like to begin by thanking you for everything you do for _______ Elementary School.  We are so pleased to have our daughter in a school where teachers care about her and she is getting a high quality education, despite the many challenges and barriers faced by educators these days.  That doesn’t happen without a strong leader.

We are deeply concerned about House Bill 60, which was recently signed into law.  In fact, we cannot overstate our concern about this.  Our understanding is that the law allows any school official to carry a weapon on school grounds as long as permission is granted by the district.  The law also prohibits police from questioning anyone about whether they have a permit or checking for permits, because no statewide database can be created, which basically grants everyone a concealed carry permit, regardless of criminal background or mental history. 

We are gun owners and we both grew up around guns.  We aren't anti-gun but we do believe it defies common sense to have loaded weapons around children.  We don’t believe that school officials would ever harm our child intentionally – in fact, we believe they’d give up their lives defending her if needed -- but we do know children are curious and persistent and adults make mistakes.  If guns are allowed in schools, we are certain that tragedy will ensue when a child is able to get access to the gun of a teacher or a gun is misfired by an adult, as has already happened in a Texas school.  We don’t want our daughter (or anyone else’s child) to become just another gun death statistic or to be catastrophically injured.

Given our level of concern about this development, we respectfully submit two requests

1.      Please deny anyone (other than trained police officers) who requests to bring a gun onto school property. 

2.      If you cannot deny such requests, please immediately notify us if anyone in the school other than a police officer is carrying a weapon on school grounds.  We will then request information about how to have our daughter removed from the classroom if that person is her teacher and removed from the person's presence if not a teacher.

It would break our hearts to have to remove our daughter from a teacher she loves, but we will go to any length to protect her from physical harm and trauma.  We cannot, in good conscience, ever allow her to be around well-meaning but untrained individuals with weapons and children who may grab them.

Respectfully,