Parenting Math

Parenting involves a surprising amount of math and there are two common parenting math mistakes that people make (including me before I lived this).  The first is the assumption that having two children is twice the work as one.  Logical, yes, but not true. When you have two children you have to manage each individual child, plus the relationship between them.  You have to teach them how to get along or at least refrain from killing each other. "Her hot dog is bigger than MINE!" and "He's looking at me!!" and "Yesterday you gave her two goodnight kisses!!  Why do you love her more?"  And so on. If your kids are extra prone to fighting or you have one with a special need like ADHD or sensory issues, multiply up as appropriate.  So, it's not 1 + 1 = 2 in terms of workload.  It's 1 + 1 = 3.  The other parenting math mistake is that having one child is 1/2 the work as two.  Wrong again. One child is quieter and, when something is mysteriously broken or stained, you have less detective work to do, depending, of course, on the maturity level of your spouse.  But when you have two children, they can play together at least some of the time and the older one can help the younger one, when not administering noogies and purple nurples. Only children, especially before they're too young to go over to neighbor's houses, look to you to amuse them.  Unless you enjoy playing endless rounds of Candy Land or inventing science experiments out of peanut butter and cat litter, it's a lot of work.  You have the most adorable coworker in the world, but it's work nonetheless.