The Katie Chronicles, the Birds and the Bees, Fish-Style Edition.

Well, I’ve ruined Katie’s life. Today we were watching a nature show about a zoo where they were separating out two fish from the others because they were having trouble breeding, giving them a little privacy and maybe a little Marvin Gaye playing nearby. Katie and I started discussing fish reproduction. Our kids have known for a long time where babies come from and how they’re made, but she seemed skeptical of the fish method of baby-making, so I asked her if she remembered Finding Nemo, which she watched about 3,742 times as a preschooler. “Katie, remember the scene where Nemo’s mom and dad swam down to the cave and watched the eggs? And then the mean fish ate all of them except for Nemo? How do you think the baby fish got in those eggs? Moms release the eggs and the dads fertilize them and then that makes babies. I’ve always wondered how the fish sperm doesn’t wash away before it can fertilize the eggs.” She gave me a horrified look as the reality of her beloved Nemo being made via fish sex emerged in her mind, apparently for the first time. I was surprised that she was surprised. Did she have some sort of mental image of the Immaculate Conception for him? So Nemo was a Jesus fish? And we thought he was a clown fish. Anyway, she buried herself in her blanket and screeched in mock agony. “I can’t believe you told me that! You ruined my life!” Mission accomplished I guess. If you haven’t given your kids at least a couple of things to discuss in therapy, have you even parented? #MarlinAndCoralDidTheDeed

Marvin Gaye's Let's Get it On 

Marvin Gaye - Lets get it on